(((DOWNLOAD))) ⇣ Trespass: Living at the Edge of the Promised Land ☔ PDF eBook or Kindle ePUB free

I had to keep putting this down to read something lighter but then I had to keep picking it up It s dark and painful stuff but so well written it s worth suffering through.Reviewers seem to be divided into Mormons who hated it, Jack Mormons who related to it, non Mormon westerners who are fascinated by the book and are unsurprised to have their opinions confirmed and outsiders to it all who found it all too much to handle As a non Mormon westerner who looks on in stunned amazement at what some I had to keep putting this down to read something lighter but then I had to keep picking it up It s dark and painful stuff but so well written it s worth suffering through.Reviewers seem to be divided into Mormons who hated it, Jack Mormons who related to it, non Mormon westerners who are fascinated by the book and are unsurprised to have their opinions confirmed and outsiders to it all who found it all too much to handle As a non Mormon westerner who looks on in stunned amazement at what some Utahns do their piece of heaven yes, I know they think that comes next I thought she did a fair job of describing so many different types of people there I loved the way she wove her own story with the history of her ancestors and with the landscape and earlier people who lived there and still try to It never seemed difficult to work out which strand she was working with in any section.Also, the whole book was worth suffering through for the analogy of Mormonism and Coyote (((DOWNLOAD))) ⇱ Trespass: Living at the Edge of the Promised Land ↷ Trespass is the story of one woman s struggle to gain footing in inhospitable territory A wilderness activist and apostate Mormon, Amy Irvine sought respite in the desert outback of southern Utah s red rock country after her father s suicide, only to find out just how much of an interloper she was among her own people But than simply an exploration of personal loss, Trespass is an elegy for a dying world, for the ruin of one of our most beloved and unique desert landscapes and for our vanishing connection to it Fearing what her father s fate might somehow portend for her, Irvine retreated into the remote recesses of the Colorado Plateau home not only to the world s most renowned national parks but also to a rugged brand of cowboy Mormonism that stands in defiant contrast to the world at large Her story is one of ruin and restoration, of learning to live among people who fear the wilderness the way they fear the devil and how that fear fuels an antagonism toward environmental concerns that pervades the region At the same time, Irvine mourns her own loss of wildness and disconnection from spirituality, while ultimately discovering that the provinces of nature and faith are not as distinct as she once might have believed I have very mixed feelings about this book They gotmixed with every passing chapter Trespass is a memoir wrapped around geographical and cultural historical observations of southeastern Utah s San Juan County Or maybe it s the other way around Or maybe they are metaphors for each other It s hard to tell sometimes, just as it s hard to tell how much of the content is factual and how much is revisionist Irvine describes herself as a sixth generation Utahan and Jack Mormon environmenta I have very mixed feelings about this book They gotmixed with every passing chapter Trespass is a memoir wrapped around geographical and cultural historical observations of southeastern Utah s San Juan County Or maybe it s the other way around Or maybe they are metaphors for each other It s hard to tell sometimes, just as it s hard to tell how much of the content is factual and how much is revisionist Irvine describes herself as a sixth generation Utahan and Jack Mormon environmental activist At the time of the book, Irvine was a part time grant writer for the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance It s worth noting SUWA is not a popular agency in San Juan County Irvine s father, to whom she had not spoken in years, committed suicide using his inherited shotgun a year prior to the book s opening chapters Her first marriage was unraveling, and she was moving from Salt Lake City five hours south to San Juan County, one of theremote areas of Utah, to be near her boyfriend a SUWA lawyer Basically, she was running away from what she didn t want to deal with under justification of needingspace and with some half formed idea that scorning modern life to live a kind of noble savage life was going to give her peace It s a pattern set on repeat within the book.The San Juan area is known for stunning scenery, cattle ranching, uranium waste from former mining , a strong LDS presence and site of one of the first mini temples and, of all the idiotic things developers insist on building in the least appropriate places, a highly ranked golf course Because, you know, there s absolutely nothing to do in the what s likely the most scenic spot in the desert Southwest and contemplate nature s glory than go knock a ball around on acres of non native, artificially and chemically maintained turf laid over uranium waste I m not so much of a tree hugger as I just think golf is utterly ridiculous and a blight on the planet Side note San Juan County WAS one of the most remote areas Depending on how you crunch the numbers, it s currently one of the fastest growing counties in the US, a trend that has even San Juan County confused given it is still poor, ultra conservative, climatically harsh, and that there are still no jobs or amenities or water to speak of The only way most people know about it is because of the political posturing concerning Bear Ears Monument and because of such national parks monuments as Canyonland and Natural Bridges Irvine writes beautifully about the Redrock region of the Colorado Plateau Her descriptions of the geography and geology are poetic and visceral It s clear she loves the desert Her tales of the early LDS settlers, including her direct ancestor Howard Egan, are fascinating While she admires their stamina and perseverance, Irvine doesn t sugar coast or gloss over some of their less noble actions Her musing about the previous inhabitants of the area, the Native Americans of various periods and tribes, are imaginative, but perhaps too much so She knows a great deal about their artifacts and history, but often her fictive pondering ends up in a fantasy where the natives conflicts, motivations and actions are littlethan projections of her own issues While a good archeologist uses imagination to decipher clues from the past, Irvine goes far beyond that She romanticizes the natives and their history in a way that disconnects them to reality and strips them of their own identity The memoir part of the book follows Irvine for 18 20 months as she struggled against just about everything her job, the boyfriend, the community, health issues, history Mostly, though they thing she struggled against was herself And after a few chapters filled with her sullen, indignant judgements andyeah, I m going to say itwhining, my initial positive impression of the book took a dive TheIrvine described her actions and behaviors, the less I could empathize In the end, I found her whole It s not me, it s everything else justifications and excuses off putting, and I was irritated by her heavy handed metaphors that somehow twisted into making the whole region about herself She simultaneously pushed and pulled at everything in her life until the stress fractures became too big to ignore, then lurched around for a way to paint herself the passive outcast from family, community, religion, work, marriage, everything She wanted be part of a community, but she didn t want to be part of the existing community She wanted to be an activist, but she didn t want to put in the time or effort to dig in for the long haul She imagined herself as a kind of primitive, self sufficient wild woman, but continually whimpered about being abandoned lonely She spent half her time trying to pass as a local and the other half flipping the bird or her lid at the people she tried to impress and emulate She came across as a fickle, bitter, and querulous dare I say effed up person who invested far too much in what other people think of her And while I understand she had a health issue that possibly contributed to her behavior, I suspect, given her descriptions of herself as a child, that the health issue was only a minor factor Some of her outlook may be due to her childhood environment Utah has a rep as a place where conformity has high value and too much individuality is frowned on Certainly parents can screw with kids heads in spite of their best intentions So can religion But there comes a point where you have to grow up and own your own crap or end up buried by it The thing is, she knew she was being a pain in the ass After a passage in which she gets a bit too dramatic about how inevitable and futile everything felt, was this Yes, the battles, the losses, they take their toll Every day is a struggle, for the desert, for my lover, for a place to dwell as if I were an integral part of things, And the effort has shaken me left me teetering precarious The thunder of Herb s voice The rumble of ORV s and thumper trucks The pound of the judge s gavel as it ensures the demise of my Passion and fury are close cousins, and hard to bear But the alternative is apathy a white on white, a monochromatic scheme where spirituality is bleached of both sense and sensibility Beautifully crafted sentencesand IMO complete bullshit Passion and apathy might be opposites, but they are never the only two options That spectrum has infinite shades It s this kind of either or thinking that feeds conflict It s so reductionist and so melodramatic That whole passage, even as well written as it is, carries the tone of the self appointed martyrwhich is really just a form of masochism She s getting off on being miserable Some people aren t happy unless they re miserable, and her own words show over and over that she s up for a little self sabotage if that s what it takes Perhaps Irvine should have disclosed her diagnosis at the beginning so readers could cut a little leeway As it is, by the time she got around to mentioning it, I didn t care any I also felt she lacked credibility as a reliable narrator So, while Irvine is a talented writer, I ended up ambivalent about this book Were she to write an objective history or geography or even a historical fiction I would likely read it This combination in Trespass, however, didn t work for me I d give it a two except that she s such a damn good wordsmith Irvine has a wonderfully fertile imagination perhaps focusing it outward would beconstructive According to Wikipedia, the term Jack Mormon refers to a non practicing member of the LDS church who maintains an interest in or friendly relations with other LDS Someone once described the term to me as the Mormon equivalent to a cultural Jew or an Easter Catholic I m pretty sure those last two things aren t as similar as the person using them thought I really wanted to like this book but it never happened for me The reviews from other people were great and I thought, based on those reviews, that I would really enjoy this read In actuality, I found the storyline to be too heavy I suppose I wantedof a memoir and less of a history lesson I also had a hard time relating to the author I found her to be rather self loathing I know it turns out that she had a hormone deficiency which caused this but still a couple hundred pages of her i I really wanted to like this book but it never happened for me The reviews from other people were great and I thought, based on those reviews, that I would really enjoy this read In actuality, I found the storyline to be too heavy I suppose I wantedof a memoir and less of a history lesson I also had a hard time relating to the author I found her to be rather self loathing I know it turns out that she had a hormone deficiency which caused this but still a couple hundred pages of her internal dialogue was a bit too much for me to handle I always enjoy reading books set in my home state of Utah Trespass, was well written and very enjoyable to read The author adeptly describes the turmoil of growing up in Utah as a non Mormon I think the book would occasionally become a little tedious if the reader couldn t relate, in some way, to the Mormon culture Otherwise, the information about San Juan and it s people was very interesting and the landscape description made me yearn for red rock. I loved this book Being a non mormon growing up in Utah the daughter of a jack mormon mother and a non religious father, I could relate to a lot of the interactions judgements the author has encountered in her life growing up in Utah Also lots of wonderful Utah history about the indigenous peoples who lived in southern Utah and about the pioneers who came to avoid persecution. A fascinating and passionately delivered meditation on grief set against the rural and isolated southeastern corner of Utah, just a stones throw from where I live Rich with descriptions of the land, the history, environmentalism and its adversaries, and the personal struggle of building a marriage and a house in the midst of a pregnancy and a health crisis There s a lot going on in this book but it is all interrelated At times the tone was a bit dark for me. This memoir is quite long, and rather ponderous The author is a woman on a journey of self discovery, which she documents over a few years spent in southeastern Utah Ms Irvine gives the reader a lot of general history about Utah especially the Mormon settlement of the West and the Ancestral Puebloans and other ancient Native American tribes Farinteresting to me were the smaller sections of information the author shared about the Native Americans who inhabited the land right before E This memoir is quite long, and rather ponderous The author is a woman on a journey of self discovery, which she documents over a few years spent in southeastern Utah Ms Irvine gives the reader a lot of general history about Utah especially the Mormon settlement of the West and the Ancestral Puebloans and other ancient Native American tribes Farinteresting to me were the smaller sections of information the author shared about the Native Americans who inhabited the land right before European immigrants forced the surviving tribes onto reservations.Since I grew up in southwest Colorado, and live there as an adult, this is all territory and history I m really familiar with, and I found myself pretty bored reading most of the long general history summaries loaded into this book That information felt like reading a high school text on general Western history For readers who ve never read about these topics, and have never been exposed to great books like Desert Solitaire or Under the Banner of Heaven, the long history sections in Trespass Living at the Edge of the Promised Land might beinteresting During the rare moments and scenes in which Ms Irvine focused on her own life, I wanted so muchI wanted the author to delve deeper into the problems and pain that drove her to live in aisolated part of the state of Utah than where she d grown up in Salt Lake City I wasn t interested in reading about the general problem of not fitting in, which so many of us suffer from I wanted the author to detailof her personal life, rather than keeping the focus on what typical Mormons think and act like But on the most bracing subjects to read such as the topic of child abuse, and how abusive the author s stepfather was the reader gets only one glancing sentence, near the end of the book Likewise, the subjects of adultery and giving birth to a stillborn child are also heart wrenching and gripping, but the author mentions these pieces of her life with swift, light sentences that don t dig into pain so much as skim over it, leaving the reader to assume a depth of feeling that I never felt resonate The final conclusions of the book were deductions I came to in the first half of the book namely, that the author had grown up in a community she couldn t emulate, and in her search for freedom, and her desire to embrace her authentic self, she struggled to find not only an accurate role model, but a community of like minded souls who would accept her and support her as one of their own.In the end, the author s life is given purpose and connection after she delivers a living child and becomes a mother, followed by a move to southwest Colorado This biology is destiny ending seemed to sidestep the author s agony by simply shunting her pain aside in the face of the onslaught of parenting duties It made me wish the author had ended the book before the birth of her living child For so many people, it s easy to find Meaning in life after the act of procreation, and the author didn t begin the memoir by hungering to have a child Based on the opening chapters, I thought I was being set up for a different kind of journey, but this author s search for identity returned her to the gender roles she d found so stifling while growing up in the act of bearing children, forgiving her adulterous mate, and letting her husband provide for her building their house, working outside the home, providing for their food and material needs while she saw to the duties of breastfeeding and childcare Ms Irvine s journey of self discovery ends with the life affirming gift of motherhood lighting her way, and suggests that her embrace of gender roles isenlightened because she lived with psychological chaos and a hormonal deficiency for so long before bearing a child and finding her purpose meaning spiritual self in life Enduring the emotional hardship before finding Meaning in motherhood and a sense of authentic belonging in Colorado is the purpose of Ms Irvine s memoir My favorite scene occurred when a Utah cowboy found himself clashing, and then flirting with Ms Irvine in a Laundromat, which was followed by some really great information about the Paiute the history of their tribe and their current reservation status Long after those pages, by the time I arrived at the moment Ms Irvine learned her first child no longer had a heartbeat in utero a revelation that was skimmed over the same way many other important moments were skimmed over I felt really let down by the book Instead of being able to truly embody those scenes, I felt like I was reading a journal Which had to have been what the author intended, but I wanted something else Somethinglike the scenes I experienced when reading Into Thin Air or Wild I wanted to experience the horror and pain of the journey, but what I felt instead were cerebral brushstrokes of moments, a light sketch of a personal history, rather than a full embodiment of a life.I would recommend this book to anyone who loves memoir, history, and Western culture, as well as to anyone who might be considering moving to Utah Excellent memoir of loss and Irvine s struggle for a sense of belonging in southeastern Utah So many threads woven together seamlessly religion, environment, history, family Highly recommended. I read Trespass because I m going to to Utah next month I like to read as much and as diversely as possible about a place before traveling to it and Irvine s memoir, written by a jack Mormom and an environmentalist, promised to cover two of the area s major themes The book also seemed darker than most wilderness writing, as the narrator moves to the desert in the wake of her father s suicide, which added to my interest Irvine s memoir scores big with me as a history of Mormon settlement in th I read Trespass because I m going to to Utah next month I like to read as much and as diversely as possible about a place before traveling to it and Irvine s memoir, written by a jack Mormom and an environmentalist, promised to cover two of the area s major themes The book also seemed darker than most wilderness writing, as the narrator moves to the desert in the wake of her father s suicide, which added to my interest Irvine s memoir scores big with me as a history of Mormon settlement in the area The founding of Utah is part of Irvine s family history as her great great great grandfather arrived in the Salt Lake Valley with the first wave of Mormon settlers in 1847 Irvine weaves her ancestor s accounts, based on his diary, into the state s larger history yet remains critical of this legacy and adds some much needed feminist analysis to the story I read Trespass alongside David Bigler s Forgotten Kingdom The Mormon Theocracy in the American West, 1847 1896 and found it almost as useful as the longer,academic tome The history of the Mormon church is also just surprisingly fascinating if you are unaware of it.Irvine s also big on native history, at least ancient native history She provides a lot of archaeological and anthropological analysis that I m unfamiliar with and therefore found intriguing She has a clear fetish for hunter gatherer societies, but she sources the theorists behind her ideas, offering a useful introduction to the topic I learned a good deal from her in this regard.She writes a bit as well about post colonial native history and contemporary issues, but this is where she begins to fall short The modern day native communities in her area are mostly absent from her book after a brief and unsuccessful attempt at friendship with a native woman she meets at the laundromat Granted, Irvine admits her detachment from the local native population when she laments that the only native person at her wedding is an elder whom she hired to perform a ceremony She is clearly disappointed the next day, however, when he shows up drunk, no longer fitting the spiritual image she wants of him In turn, I was disappointed with the way she uses native culture and history to support her own points yet shows little understanding of their contemporary situation Effectively, she perpetuates a narrative that treats native people as mere historical artifacts.And while I did learn much from Irvine about wilderness issues in southern Utah, she really starts to bug me on this subject She comes across as a stereotypical elitist, laying all blame on the ignorance of rednecks Particularly when she is living in Moab, she exhibits the worst kind of environmentalism that has zero analysis of power or capitalism Her descriptions of the locals are filled with the same resentment that they have towards her and her friends There is surely acomplex story here, but Irvine has too limited of a view to be able to tell it.She does an equally poor job of describing the conflict between her and her lover, despite the many, many pages she spends trying She really lost bored me here, clearly feeling a lot of emotion around the situation but failing to make me understand her ordeal Despite looking forward to someliterary inner turmoil, I really didn t get anything out of these passages.I am glad I read this book I learned a lot about the Mormon church, the Bureau of Land Management, ancient petroglyphs, andI enjoyed mulling over some of Irvine s ideas I was particularly amused by her comparison of Mormons to coyotes for their mutual ability to reproduce rapidly in the face of adversity and spread out from their desert homeland Still, I would hesitate to recommend Trespass to anyone without a specific interest in the history and landscape of Utah