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|Read E-pub ⛑ The Lovely Bones Í On her way home from school on a snowy December day in ,year old Susie Salmon like the fish is lured into a makeshift underground den in a cornfield and brutally raped and murdered, the latest victim of a serial killer the man she knew as her neighbor, Mr Harvey The lovely bones, Alice SeboldThe Lovely Bones is a 2002 novel by American writer Alice Sebold It is the story of a teenage girl who, after being raped and murdered, watches from her personal Heaven as her family and friends struggle to move on with their lives while she comes to terms with her own death The novel received much critical praise and became an instant bestseller A film adaptation, directed by Peter Jackson, who personally purchased the rights, was released in 2009 The lovely bones, Alice SeboldThe Lovely Bones is a 2002 novel by American writer Alice Sebold It is the story of a teenage girl who, after being raped and murdered, watches from her personal Heaven as her family and friends struggle to move on with their lives while she comes to terms with her own death The novel received much critical praise and became an instant bestseller A film adaptation, directed by Peter Jackson, who personally purchased the rights, was released in 2009 2003 1382 495 9643740285 1383 1384 1386 21 1382 435 9644423682 1383 421 9645881536 The Lovely Bones has got to be the most baffling, poorly written, jaw droppingly bad book that I have ever set my eyes on It is truly a black, black tragedy that the words in this book were placed in that particular order, published, and distributed How could this have ever possibly been popular Is it for the same reason that the song My Humps hit number one I mean, I don t technically believe in burning books, but this novel really got me thinking About burning it.If it serves any use at The Lovely Bones has got to be the most baffling, poorly written, jaw droppingly bad book that I have ever set my eyes on It is truly a black, black tragedy that the words in this book were placed in that particular order, published, and distributed How could this have ever possibly been popular Is it for the same reason that the song My Humps hit number one I mean, I don t technically believe in burning books, but this novel really got me thinking About burning it.If it serves any use at all, it might be a perfect guide on how not to write a book Here are some of my gripes, problems and issues that we can hopefully use to prevent something like this from ever happening again to us, our children, or our children s children It is filled with some of the worst sentence level writing that I have ever encountered From bad description to horrible grammar to utterly confusing metaphors, Sebold covered it all A tell tale way to spot a weak writer They can t stop weirdly describing people s eyes Don t believe me Try this sentence Her eyes were like flint and flower petals Or this one The tears came like a small relentless army approaching the front lines of her eyes She asked for coffee and toast in a restaurant and buttered it with her tears Really She buttered the coffee and toast with her tears Or this one, this time about someone s heart Her heart, like a recipe, was reduced What the hell And here s my favorite eye description in the book Her pupils dilated, pulsing in and out like small, ferocious olives That s right Ferocious olives I ve read MadLibs that makesense than that.It seems to lack a plot You know, that thing that books are supposed to have I ll never forget my first workshop with Brady Udall, in which he threw my story onto the table and said, This isn t a story, Sarah, it s a situation And as much as I despaired when I got home, he was right Sebold has the same problem her book is a really long situation A girl dies and watches her family from heaven Okay That s nice But what do the characters want What drives the story forward Nothing The characters get older and keep bumping into each other Things change, and things often do, but there is no forward movement and certainly no building of suspense.Since there s no plot, the ending is just a bunch of weird stuff happening I read the last thirty pages on the train this morning, and couldn t stop a few outbursts Oh, no she didn t I d say, talking to Alice Sebold and her crazy ways She is just plain bold when it comes to doing whatever she feels like, and she feels like doing the weirdest stuff ever It s not that I don t want to write spoilers here, it s that I can t even explain to you what happened at the end of the book And I bet she can t either I m not exaggerating.Her characters never have interesting or complex thoughts Not even the serial killer or the mother whose daughter was murdered It seems that Sebold s characters do one of two things they laugh which means they are happy or cry to butter their toast, somehow, when they are sad As you might guess, there is a lot of laughing and crying in this book When a character is confused, they laugh and cry at the same time This also happens often.I feel a little better after venting But I m still deeply sad and angry I feel like my own writing might have been permanently damaged by reading this book like a couple of ferocious olives This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here One book, two rapes How s that for a bargain The book only advertises one Yuck.The book in question is Alice Sebold s The Lovely Bones I m not giving anything away by saying it s a book about a girl the narrator who was murdered That s revealed in the book s second sentence It s also not a big deal to let you know she was raped and murdered by a neighbour, George Harvey That all is related pretty early on What isn t revealed until maybe the last fifty pages is that the girl herself, One book, two rapes How s that for a bargain The book only advertises one Yuck.The book in question is Alice Sebold s The Lovely Bones I m not giving anything away by saying it s a book about a girl the narrator who was murdered That s revealed in the book s second sentence It s also not a big deal to let you know she was raped and murdered by a neighbour, George Harvey That all is related pretty early on What isn t revealed until maybe the last fifty pages is that the girl herself, Susie Salmon, becomes a rapist.Ideologically, I m not certain which one is worse I could be persuaded.But the way the book presents the two incidents is markedly different One is revealed in low lights and has a horror edge to it It s seen unilaterally as an evil, wicked deed The other is the book s highlight, the moment at which the author breathes a sigh of relief and says that everything else made right I suppose it makes sense the narrator probably wouldn t see her actions for what they were But in the end, both George and Susie deal with their childhood victimizations in that manner typical to the criminal genre these days.Both George and Susie had horrible things happen in their formative years that leave long lasting scars The only difference is that George Harvey lived and Susie Salmon died Not that it makes much difference Susie is as alive a character as George for the purposes of the story They both want what they want and care little for the well being of the women who get in their way The difference is that George Harvey is portrayed as the villain he is, while little Susie Salmon is treated as a hero.Those who have read the book may not have even noticed Susie s complete abandonment of moral sense or care for the woman she violates After all, she doesn t exactly couch things in those terms So here it is, laid out for you.When Susie was alive, there was a boy who liked her, Ray In the years after her death, Ray grows up to be, in the narrator s view, an attractive young man She watches him and loves him Somehow, events conspire to allow Susie to possess the body of Ruth, a friend of Ray s Susie uses the opportunity to seduce Ray and they make love several times in the course of a few hours And then Susie has to go back to heaven Leaving Ruth, a victim of Susie s power over her body.Imagine that you re Ruth You wake up Naked Probably a little tender Used In the back of some bike shop With a man in the shower That s what I call horror Not only was she not conscious or aware for any of the immediately preceding events, but the guy who s been really her only friend in the world is now naked and telling her that he screwed her brains out while she was unconscious And even if he doesn t tell her that, there s a very short rail of evidence and it all points to that conclusion And now She could be pregnant She could be diseased.Yep The crowning act of love on the part of the tale s heroine is littlethan a petty, rapacious act of power over the helpless woman who got in her way Good job Susie Salmon You and George Harvey should get along nicelychokengtitiktitikchokengs even though I called it a spoiler, I think that Alice Sebold spoiled the book Not me The greatest first 30 pages ever The worst rest.Compare contrast with The Shimmering Go Between The greatest first 30 pages ever The worst rest.Compare contrast with The Shimmering Go Between