^Book ☠ Not After Everything ☙ PDF eBook or Kindle ePUB free

4.5 starting over stars This was amazing Tragic, but holy shit, Tyler s story broke me and slowly pieced me back together Mostly I hated his fucking father something fierce He was such a piece of shit, the way he treated his only son Only child for that matter I wanted to stick my hand through my kindle, grab his throat and cut off all his air supply Fuck His mother was selfish for doing what she did Part of me really hated her, almost as much as his dad But Jordynoh sweet Jordyn 4.5 starting over stars This was amazing Tragic, but holy shit, Tyler s story broke me and slowly pieced me back together Mostly I hated his fucking father something fierce He was such a piece of shit, the way he treated his only son Only child for that matter I wanted to stick my hand through my kindle, grab his throat and cut off all his air supply Fuck His mother was selfish for doing what she did Part of me really hated her, almost as much as his dad But Jordynoh sweet Jordyn She was Tyler s saving grace I loved herthe way she helped Tyler heal from his fucked up life Her kind heart and care for him She became the only good thing in his life But the endI wasn t completely satisfied I neededclosure, resolution I don t know, I understood why the author chose that path for Ty It was a pretty good one I just neededhappiness for him I wanted an epilogue Still, his story was one I was glad to experience Except for the devastating parts, mostly involving his asshole dad I just hope he s happy and it would be awesome to seeTyler and Jordyn in the future hint hint TW Depression, Suicide, and Abuse BIG trigger warning It gets graphic This is an extremely honest, raw, and moving picture into grief, love, and growing up I absolutely loved this story and it s one that will stick with me Tyler was an extremely realistic and flawed main character who despite his many faults had my heart I absolutely loved this story The only reason it didn t get five stars was because the ending while realistic was a bit unsatisfying After reading several goodreads TW Depression, Suicide, and Abuse BIG trigger warning It gets graphic This is an extremely honest, raw, and moving picture into grief, love, and growing up I absolutely loved this story and it s one that will stick with me Tyler was an extremely realistic and flawed main character who despite his many faults had my heart I absolutely loved this story The only reason it didn t get five stars was because the ending while realistic was a bit unsatisfying After reading several goodreads reviews, that seems to be the common thought so know that going in I recommend I think this book would work for a lot of readers, but I just had a lot of run ins with Not After Everything that prevented me from truly enjoying it Okay, so one of my biggest pet peeves are unlikable narrators, and guys I just really disliked Tyler He is such a huge jerk Snarky, angry, mad at the world narrators are so hard for me to connect with, and Tyler takes the cake at being at the top of that list He always has some derogatory comment to add to just about everyone he runs into A w I think this book would work for a lot of readers, but I just had a lot of run ins with Not After Everything that prevented me from truly enjoying it Okay, so one of my biggest pet peeves are unlikable narrators, and guys I just really disliked Tyler He is such a huge jerk Snarky, angry, mad at the world narrators are so hard for me to connect with, and Tyler takes the cake at being at the top of that list He always has some derogatory comment to add to just about everyone he runs into A woman with one of the most unfortunate faces I ve ever seen eyes too close together, nose too long, serious lack of a chin, and the kind of buckteeth I didn t know still existed after the advent of orthodontics enters with her equally ugly son, who s either suffering from severe ADHD or he s just done a line of coke The woman is wearing pink, and I mean pink, lipstick on her buckteeth in addition to her lips Or something stereotypical We have the quiet nerds with backpacks twice as thick as they are, twitching with anxiety at the mere possibility of socialization the skaters, who haven t received the memo that wearing your pants below your ass was never cool and the band geeks huddled together wearing their letterman jackets Why they give letterman jackets to the band is something I will never get And it was seriously annoying how much sex dominated his thoughts This book is a good 75% of sexual related thoughts that are never acted on I guess it s just thrown in there to show that he s a well guy.After school, it was either jerk off in the shower or get out of the house and do something productive She is kind of hot If I made a move on her it would definitely piss Sheila off That would be very bad For both of us I don t mind pissing Sheila off., but I don t want Cara to suffer Sheila s wrath because of me But then again, she does have a nice rack Can we talk about something else Who are you screwing this week I ask Marcus You ever think of asking Cara I ask Cara Well, yeah Man, her tits I d love to hit that, but there s no way She s too smart to fall for my shit The oldest Child of the Corn has changed into jeans and a shirt that s staining agains her ample chest, I realize she s hot She steps in my path, pulls a merger out of her purse, takes my hand, and writes her number Then she takes my index finger in her mouth and sucks on it If that little finger sucking display is any indication of how fun she might be, perhaps I will call her And this was while he was in a relationship with Sheila For your information, I am having sex with someone, mind blowing acrobatic sex, but that has nothing to do with breaking up with you, it s just a bonus And it s not that goth chick And seriously, what is this about I towel off as I casually stroll over to the pile of clothes I can do this I can face my dad I pick out a pair of jeans and some boxers, pulling them on without bothering to shield my nakedness from him I have a sneaking suspicion my d ck is bigger than his Sure enough, he turns away, boosting my confidence Yeah I dunno maybe it s just impolite and creepily inappropriate to stare at your teenage son s nudity And I m not bothered by profanity at all, but it was just so over the top in this novel Once again, I think the author used it excessively as a reminder in case I forgot that he s a guy, and that s how guys think and talk 50% profanity 50% sex Yep So maybe I m being a stickler, but Tyler just seemed like a rude, cranky, vulgar, mulish guy and it made it so difficult for me to really get into this book If stuff like that doesn t bother you, then otherwise, really, the book isn t so bad I did think that it was unnecessarily long I mean the book does drag a lot in the middle, and I thought the beginning had such a slow start I was pretty bored until I got to the last half I wasn t exactly feeling the romance either But what got me was how the author captures the abusive relationship between him and his father It was so gritty and gruesomely realistic, and also his feelings toward his mother this isn t a spoiler, but she committed suicide is so complex, raw, and organic Michelle Levy writes those parts with so much feeling, and towards the end I was pretty choked up But the actual ending itself was so unsatisfying It didn t even feel like an ending All in all, the cons outweighed the pros big time for me, which is why I couldn t give thisthan 2 stars I am not exactly sure how I really feel about this book yet I guess, I m still trying to absorb the way the author chose to end it Some would say that it has a hopeful ending for our main character Tyler, whose last year in high school was marred by the suicide of his mother for which he blames himself and everything in between was just a cacophony of hurt, betrayal, discovery, recovery and most importantly, love I loved the fact that despite the heavy plot lines in the story and the too ang I am not exactly sure how I really feel about this book yet I guess, I m still trying to absorb the way the author chose to end it Some would say that it has a hopeful ending for our main character Tyler, whose last year in high school was marred by the suicide of his mother for which he blames himself and everything in between was just a cacophony of hurt, betrayal, discovery, recovery and most importantly, love I loved the fact that despite the heavy plot lines in the story and the too angsty plight of Tyler new author Michelle Levy was able to relay the book into something that is not overly dramatic with an overabundance of purple prose Thank the gods she didn t because it s what some authors tends to do with such theme.If you are up for something that will leave you just so sad like someone just ate your puppy or just be depressed like shit, this book is enough to leave you in such state Written entirely from Tyler s point of view, it let us see how barely legal Tyler pick up his life after the heartbreaking loss of his mother and how he tried to just go with the flow Readers will feel that grief I know I did gaah, I told myself before that I m gonna try to stop reading books like this because they just destroy the hell out of me emotionally, but gahh this book sigh and all that hurt Tyler is keeping for himself And if I can just suckerpunch his dad, I know I d totally do it At first, I really didn t see the need to keep himself from punching his asshole of a dad I was like, cmon man just one punch pppllleaseee but no Did not happen Tyler s a tough kid Blame game It s a blame game all over again.I loved how Jordyn and her family came into the picture It s just one of the bright spots in Tyler s shadowed moment in his young life It s almost heartbreaking how they cared so much for him The subtle blossoming in their relationship was fun to watch because you know that there s true caring in there and there s understanding Most of the times it s true all you need is love.The conclusion of the book was rather heartbreaking to say the least It s hopeful yeah but I find it really sad There I guess at the end of writing this review, I finally decided to put into words what I feel about it It s actually pretty believable If I were on Tyler s shoes, I don t think I could come back I just don t see myself coming back to that place in time Just like Tyler, he will move on and will never or perhaps it d be a long time before he d find himself looking back Not after everything Rating 4 out of 5 stars I was going to wait to review this book until my head and heart settled down But I can t Not after everything I need to get it out on the page now when my heart is still a mess of emotion Not After Everything shows the brutality and awfulness in people There is so much ugliness here, but a lot of hope and love as well Teary eyed hope Tyler Blackwell s Mom killed herself Committed suicide leaving him alone with a father who only communicates with head games, guilt, punches and verbal abus I was going to wait to review this book until my head and heart settled down But I can t Not after everything I need to get it out on the page now when my heart is still a mess of emotion Not After Everything shows the brutality and awfulness in people There is so much ugliness here, but a lot of hope and love as well Teary eyed hope Tyler Blackwell s Mom killed herself Committed suicide leaving him alone with a father who only communicates with head games, guilt, punches and verbal abuse This book doesn t mess around It s a hard story with hard lessons Important lessons about standing up for yourself and your life Michelle Levy writes Tyler s voice in a brutally honest, straight forward, no sugar coating way I liked the style and Tyler very much Tyler, a senior in high school, is struggling to stay afloat in an awful sea of grief, anger, and confusion The way he talks and describes his pain felt very real to me A sad, funny, lost, horny, and sweet voice Tyler made my heart happy and hurt Yeah, yeah, yeah I m I can t finish because a piece of feeling has gone and gotten stuck in my throat What hit me the hardest and impressed me the most about this story was how Ms Levy gave Tyler time to break apart, remain broken, and then slowly start to put the pieces back together Not that anything will be the same Not that he will ever be the same After a devastating blow and loss, life does go on People want to understand and give you time, but that time soon runs out Life expects you to keep moving, keep doing the same things People expect you to be the same person What if you can t though Can t keep socializing with the same crowd or playing the same games That s when people don t know what to do andoften than not turn away or push too hard The world doesn t seem to allow us time and room to fall to pieces Sometimes that s the only option though Kids, teachers, and coaches all want to see Tyler in class and on the field But he can t The people that once surrounded and supported him every day now felt suffocating and fake Sometimes we need an old friend or someone new to pull us up again after a tragedy Tyler finds that someone in Jordyn, a girl hiding behind a face of makeup and scowls Tyler and Jordyn used to be friends as kids, but grew apart They find each other again at just the right time She does move her finger, but only to brush my finger back My breathing speeds up That tiny little touch is enough to make my entire body throb with electricity I pull on the book, drawing her closer, looking from her eyes to her lips and back again She licks her bottom lip I lean in slightly My stomach feels like I ve swallowed a hurricane I loved Tyler and Jordyn s chemistry Their time together was filled with humor, jabs, sarcasm, understanding, silence, and sparks They had this ease with each other because of their history, but also knew how to push each other s buttons Jordyn gave Tyler shit Gave him a push when he needed it She didn t let him get away with being an ass because of his loss, but she also gave him a haven a safe place for him to let his feelings show Needless to say I liked this girl And Tyler gave it right back to Jordyn too No BS between these two They brought something real and special out and for each other.I m not going to lie This is a hard read at times A very powerful mix of emotions The words and violence thrown between Tyler and his Dad made me cringe Tyler spent most of the time hiding his feelings and pain behind attitude, silence, or numbness But when his emotions overwhelmed him, when he could no longer hold it all in any deep sigh well it will break your heart Bursts of anger and screams Waves of sobs and snot Love and memories Emotions that poured out on the page and hit me like a Mack truck Brutal Tyler s voice will be with me for awhile I can still feel his anger and loneliness Oh, my heart I know he s a fictional character, but I hope he s living life out there with a smile in his heart Living and loving life to the fullest I m looking forward to readingfrom Michelle Levy.Recommended read Review posted on The Eater of Books blog Not After Everything by Michelle LevyPublisher Dial BooksPublication Date August 4, 2015Rating 4 starsSource ARC sent by the publisherSummary from Goodreads Fans of Eleanor and Park, The Spectacular Now, Willow, and Perfectly Good White Boy won t be able to put down this gritty but hopeful love story about two struggling teens Tyler has a football scholarship to Stanford, a hot girlfriend, and a reliable army of friends to party with Then h Review posted on The Eater of Books blog Not After Everything by Michelle LevyPublisher Dial BooksPublication Date August 4, 2015Rating 4 starsSource ARC sent by the publisherSummary from Goodreads Fans of Eleanor and Park, The Spectacular Now, Willow, and Perfectly Good White Boy won t be able to put down this gritty but hopeful love story about two struggling teens Tyler has a football scholarship to Stanford, a hot girlfriend, and a reliable army of friends to party with Then his mom kills herself And Tyler lets it all go Now he needs to dodge what his dad is offering verbal tirades and abuse and earn what his dad isn t money He needs a job It s there that he reunites with Jordyn, his childhood best friend, and now the token goth girl at school Jordyn brings Tyler an unexpected peace and, finally, love But with his family in shambles, he can t risk bringing Jordyn too deeply into his life So when violence rocks Tyler s world again, will it be Jordyn who shows him the way to a hopeful future Or after everything, will Tyler have to find it in himself This tough, realistic page turner reveals a boy s point of view on loss and love perfect for fans of Rainbow Rowell, Tim Tharp, Julia Hoban, Carrie Mesrobian, and Mindi Scott.What I Liked Did anyone else choke up while reading this book Tell me why I was sitting at work, holding this book and trying to swallow the golf ball sized lump in my throat Good thing most of my coworkers were on lunch break I never cry or tear up over books But this one got to me Tough issue contemporary isn t my thing it all quite possibly my least favorite genre , but this book is worth the read and then some.Tyler s mother killed herself during the summer before his senior year, and weeks later, the pain of finding her dead in the bathtub, of losing her, hasn t eased Tyler s father is abusive, and refuses to pay for anything for Tyler Tyler quits football in which he had locked down a football scholarship to Stanford in order to start paying for basic needs, like toilet paper His girlfriend Sheila is trying to get him to open up, but he finds that he can t, not with her, his best friend Marcus, his therapist, his school counselor When he takes a job with a nutty photographer, a girl he used to be friends with is there and Jordyn can t stand him But she is the only one that doesn t let him get away with being a douchebag to everyone, and it s not long before Tyler realizes that he needs to open up with someone, before it s too late.This book was incredible So moving, so touching, so larger than life It sthan just a story, a relationship between two teens reconnected, a teen losing his popularity and claim on the high school social ladder This is one of those tough issue contemporary novels that sticks with you and grips your heart and makes you grateful for what you have, for your own story The books is written in first person, entirely from Tyler s POV In the beginning, we see Tyler as a douchebag type, feelings locked squarely away, on autopilot He pushed away everyone, broke up with his girlfriend Sheila, hooked up with a random girl soon after, quit one job, picked up one, picked up another, skipped classes Tyler didn t give many displays of emotion You can t help but feel sorry for Tyler, as well as want to hug him and punch him at the same time He was a running back on the football team before he quit, and he had been on track to go to Stanford with a football scholarship Talk about all American golden boy All that changed when his mother killed herself.Tyler s character development is subtle and extraordinary, and I loved seeing him go through so many phases of grief, so many phases of accepting grief and letting go of guilt Tyler grows into a lass a holish guy, andof a sweeter guy who sees and understands No longer the popular running back, head of the pack, hot, sought after guy I like the vulnerable side of him better, though his macho football side appealed to me greatly.Jordyn and Tyler used to be friends when they were small, but then Jordyn and her mother moved away Years later, Jordyn has been attending the same high school as Tyler, though Tyler doesn t recognize her She wears a ton of Goth makeup, obscuring her natural features and hiding her own personal problems from the world Jordyn is so hateful and angry with Tyler in general, when he first starts working for her stepdad Henry But she slowly starts to see the situation that Tyler is in Jordyn is a smart, clever girl, who doesn t put up with Tyler s emotionless routine As soon as she finds out about Tyler s life at home with his father, she tries to help him Jordyn has every reason to hate Tyler, but the two of them grow close slowly.I love watching their relationship progress They both seriously did not like each other at first well, Jordyn hated Tyler Tyler didn t care about her Tyler gets around, with his girlfriend, and then another girl, Ali, when he and Sheila break up But there is something so different about his relationship with Jordyn, and he doesn t want to mess it up He is careful around her, preserving the friendship that they have But the two of them fall for each other, and it is quite beautiful I generally enjoy hate to love relationships, and this was a sweet example of such.The tough issue part of this book is heartbreaking The first scene I read with Tyler and his father in the same room infuriated me About halfway through the book, another scene with Tyler and his father had me choked up I cannot imagine for a second what Tyler was going through, yet I could understand exactly why he chose to do what he chose to do It was so heartbreaking though, I couldn t help but feel heartsick for Tyler.The climax of this book is heartbreaking as well, but also very hopeful and uplifting And then the ending it was so, so bittersweet Although, I actually really LOVED the ending, because it makes so much sense I can t say anything without spoiling everything but believe me, after going through the same transition between high school and college, this ending makes so much sense, and really isn t sad at all.What I Did Not Like Sometimes I felt the high school drama was a little TOO much Maybe my high school was good I went to a public school , but no student every grabbed at anyone s shirt and pulled it up to reveal a girl s bra, in a hallway in front of students Or at all, in any situation No one sprayed paint on a student s clothing Some scenes just seemed like too much for real life, or even fiction.Other than that, I was very satisfied with this book Would I Recommend It For anyone who loves tough issue contemporary, definitely do not miss this book I m not a tough issue contemporary fan, but certain books are enjoyable for me, like Patty Blount s TMI, Some Boys, Nothing Left To Burn.Rating 4 stars I honestly didn t think I would like this book I couldn t put it down I was at work and it was practically glued to my hand So, do not start this book if you are working or doing something that will take your attention from the book You ll want to read this all in one sitting Trigger warnings suicide, animal and child abuse Don t read if you can t stomach reading about helpless animals being hurt I have to admit, I started crying when the dog was hurt I can handle when people are killed but if someone touches an animal I am ready to kill a bitch Bless Michelle Levy for gracing us with this realistic ending and boo to all those people rating it down because of said ending It s not every day you see authors writing about what comes after the fairytale No Trigger warnings suicide, animal and child abuse Don t read if you can t stomach reading about helpless animals being hurt I have to admit, I started crying when the dog was hurt I can handle when people are killed but if someone touches an animal I am ready to kill a bitch Bless Michelle Levy for gracing us with this realistic ending and boo to all those people rating it down because of said ending It s not every day you see authors writing about what comes after the fairytale Not that this book is anywhere near a fairytale status Not After Everything hit me hard because someone close to me is in a similar situation I couldn t help but sympathize with the main character His personality shined through all the crap sometimes even literally life served him Romance wasn t the main focus and I would be fine if there wasn t even a trace of it A solid contemporary book which made me miss reading I decided to read this book because the description mentioned that Eleanor Park fans would love it Well, while I did really like it, it was nothing like E P.This novel deals with some really difficult subjects, but I felt that it dealt with them in the most honest way possible Tyler s narrative is definitely harsh, rude, and venomous at times, but considering what he d been through, it felt right Sure, he wasn t the hero most of us are accustomed to experiencing, but his honesty about his s I decided to read this book because the description mentioned that Eleanor Park fans would love it Well, while I did really like it, it was nothing like EP.This novel deals with some really difficult subjects, but I felt that it dealt with them in the most honest way possible Tyler s narrative is definitely harsh, rude, and venomous at times, but considering what he d been through, it felt right Sure, he wasn t the hero most of us are accustomed to experiencing, but his honesty about his situation was refreshing His internal monologue coming to terms with the loss of his mother depicted what I would guess most of us in the same situation would think and feel It wasn t prettied up or filtered, bringing the emotional impact.Jordyn is okay I thought I would really attach to her, but I couldn t Maybe if we d had her narrate some chapters it would have been easier to attach to her emotionally, but all I could think was, she s being a bitch because she likes him Okay, now she s being a really good person How sweet, she s so helpful That s basically it The sections with Tyler and his dad were really, REALLY hard to read What impressed me was that at times, I couldn t help but feel sorry for his dad Despite everything, he could be a sympathetic character for about 5 seconds, until he beat the hell out of Tyler again Tyler s feelings toward him at the end show a lot of growth on his part and really show the depths of his character.I enjoyed the supporting cast, too The shrink, Jordyn s family, Captain, Tyler s coach They were all well done in shaping the story and pulling your heartstrings.That ending will probably make you a little misty eyed I expected a sad ending going in, but I wasn t prepared for bittersweet, which is sometimes evensad.Overall, a solid YA novel, quick read, with strong characters and a realistically narrated plot I d probably give it 3.5 Brushing your teeth with minty toothpaste, and then going and chugging a glass of orange juice That is the feeling I had while reading this, the bitter taste and the shudder that goes through your body just telling you that something is not rightNot After Everythingfelt like a hit or miss kind of book when I started reading it it was a definite miss for me I put it down after Chapter Twenty One My brain was on overdrive and it was screaming You re not going to read on Not After Every Brushing your teeth with minty toothpaste, and then going and chugging a glass of orange juice That is the feeling I had while reading this, the bitter taste and the shudder that goes through your body just telling you that something is not rightNot After Everythingfelt like a hit or miss kind of book when I started reading it it was a definite miss for me I put it down after Chapter Twenty One My brain was on overdrive and it was screaming You re not going to read on Not After Everything you just read You can t possibly Tyler was a problem for me The Narration was a problem for me The disparaging outlook he had towards a lot of things was a problem for me Some lines that were thrown out throughout the story was a problem for me So, I guess in conclusion The moral of the story is I have a helluva lot of problems This book being one of them ^Book ☔ Not After Everything ☊ A gritty but hopeful love story about two struggling teens great for fans of The Spectacular Now, Willow, and Eleanor and ParkTyler has a football scholarship to Stanford, a hot girlfriend, and a reliable army of friends to party with Then his mom kills herself And Tyler lets it all go Now he needs to dodge what his dad is offering verbal tirades and abuse and earn what his dad isn t money Tyler finds a job that crashes him into Jordyn, his former childhood friend turned angry loner goth girl She brings Tyler an unexpected reprieve from the never ending pity party his life has become How could he not fall for her But with his dad brutally unpredictable than ever, Tyler knows he can t risk bringing Jordyn too deeply into the chaos So when violence rocks his world again, will it be Jordyn who shows him the way to a hopeful future Or after everything, will Tyler have to find it in himself