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Gnomes are so much cooler than trolls They are resourceful, inventive, compassionate, loving, creative, and fun They can communicate with animals, hitch rides on their backs, help them in times of need, and occasionally even playfully outwit them Mostly, though, they re friends Trolls, on the other hand, are no friends of the gnomes From birth, these near monosyllabic, cretinous creatures start kicking around blindly, solely capable of discerning things they can pester As th Gnomes are so much cooler than trolls They are resourceful, inventive, compassionate, loving, creative, and fun They can communicate with animals, hitch rides on their backs, help them in times of need, and occasionally even playfully outwit them Mostly, though, they re friends Trolls, on the other hand, are no friends of the gnomes From birth, these near monosyllabic, cretinous creatures start kicking around blindly, solely capable of discerning things they can pester As the secret book of the gnomes informs us, in a brood of trolls, only the meanest kicker remains alive, his singular purpose in life being to crush anything in his path The gnomes inform us that a troll does nothing else with his time due to the simple fact that his imagination doesn t stretch that far The extent of troll philosophy is as follows Or anyway, that is how the gnomes explain it to the humans in human speak, gnomes being naturally multilingual Even the most advanced troll could not successfully form such a complex sentence, so how they really say it again, according to the gnomes is Smash it Smash it The ever clever gnomes, however, have created an elaborate system of traps in order to trip up and contain these raging assholes, with the results being pretty much the same every time Once in the trap, the troll pulls the door closed behind him and remains there trotting in an endless circle for lack of any constructive thinking until he is freed by the gnome One troll in this story is treated for his ailment via enema, to wash all the bullshit out of him I m not even making that up.Grunt, me hate Grunt, grunt, I right You wrong, grunt I smash you Uh, grunt Gnomes, unlike trolls, love self expression, affection, kindness, camaraderie, and play They resolve differences of opinion, irritation, and minor quarrels by singing their complaints in a self made song rather than scrappin and screamin over someone else s song Take note, goodreads trolls write your own goddamned song if it s so important to you I was especially keen on their views on the healing power of touch, considering I am by nature a total personal space bubble popping bear hugger, as a handful of you goodreaders have come to find out If we ever meet, I m warning you right now that you d better gnome up because these scrawny arms are a comin for ya whether you like it or not.Anyway, I was going to say something about how weird it was to read about the characteristics of the troll in the midst of all the recent goodreads drama, but then I realized that kinda makes me sound like I was born yesterday It has been, is, and always will be, but the parallels still made me laugh, given that I was reading this at my desk while once again sporadically dealing with internet assholes and their boorish, insufferable opinions on opinions Caught up in that as I was, I may have misled with the way I chose to order the information in this review To clarify this book isn t solely or even primarily about the feud between trolls and gnomes, but rather is about everything that is gnome, from fashion to construction methods to diet to tools to games to their primary purpose in life environmental conservation I ll come back to that last part.The watercolor illustrations are lovely and whimsical, though the fact that this is considered a children s book concerns me for a number of reasons Oh, I am so scatterbrained I should have mentioned the premise Two humans are summoned to Holland by the gnomes so they can learn the very secret secrets of their super secret secret gnome book They are shrunk down to gnome size and given the customary gnome garb to wear, while still retaining their human faces This leads to exhibit number one regarding why this may be too disturbing for children Ummmmyeah, pretty much sure that s Richard D James Creepy.In order to learn the secrets of the gnomes, our two human protagonists travel all over the world, time, and even dimensions, meeting a cast of characters both friendly and terrifying, from the Abominable Snowman to Neolithic Man to talking animals of every stripe Only very special humans such as Charles Perrault, Hans Christian Anderson, and the Grimm brothers have been allowed to make such a journey and become privy to such knowledge, so it is quite a privilege despite all the obstacles they come to face along the way In their travels, they also meet an array of gnome types, some a bit , errr, liberal than others For example, Arctic gnomes are known for such an excess of hospitality that they even offer their wives up to the humans at bedtime The gnomes are taken up on their offer because the humans, uh, don t want to be rude or anything Yeah, okay Blame it on the 70 s, I guess, but remember this is a book for kids Or an Aphex Twin video Despite the often fairly disturbing text and some evendisturbing illustrations, this book is a whole lot of fun even for specifically for, seriously, specifically adults, and littered with all sorts of useful facts which may or may not even be true For example, did you know that pine twigs can fight scurvy, or that the tale of Little Red Riding Hood comes from true instances of rabid wolves eating gnomes Or that the Werewolf Witch Trials occurred because of some thieves running around causing trouble in wolf suits, being seen from afar and taken for real life monsters Or that the carriages on reindeer sleighs are built so far back so that the riders won t get smacked in the face by flying poop True shit For the most part, I sorta dig the world of the gnomes In gnome land, when a fella compliments a lady, he does so by saying things like she couldn t bethan 110 years old , which is something I can totally get behind as the grey hairs peak and the eyes go dull Though learning about the sometimes wonderful, sometimes a little too loose for my taste ways of the gnome is the stated reason these humans were granted passage to this secret world, the real goal is for the gnomes to get these Homo sapiens to return home with a mission to fight the evil Seven Headed Dragon who goes by the name Pollution who is also a little too creepy for a child, perhaps The dragon s heads are 1 LET THE FUTURE TAKE CARE OF ITSELF2 IT WILL LAST MY LIFETIME3 IGNORANCE IS BLISS4 AFTER US, THE DELUGE5 LET S WAIT TILL IT HAPPENS6 IT WON T BE ALL THAT BAD7 COULDN T CARE LESSWith that, the gnomes go on to beg our travelers to make it their mission in life to spread this message that all humans should do their part to reduce the number and needs of spoiled humanity, and see beyond the tips of their noses, unlike so many trolls who just smash and slobber and sulk about the state of things Thinking back on their wonderful encounters with the deer, lemmings, foxes, bears, birds, and even wolves who helped them along the way, the humans are moved to write and illustrate this little book Because hippies This beautifully illustrated fantasy was totally perfect for a stunted grown up like me who was in pretty dire need of a cuteness injection after reading a slew of depressing novels pretty much back to back Or I m just mentally regressing For the kiddies maybe wait till you re older before checking this out Until then, play nice Bye E ormai perso in qualche meandro di casa dei miei, in attesa di tornare alla luce quando meno lo si aspetta Letto ormai parecchi anni fa me lo ricordo comunque come una lettura piacevolissima l avventura di due uomini tramutatisi in gnomi che studiano da vicino le abitudini, i costumi e gli strumenti di questo curioso popolo, compilando una sorta di vademecum Il finale forse un po troppo moraleggiante, ma ci si pu passare sopra Molto belle le immagini, un libro consigliato da legg E ormai perso in qualche meandro di casa dei miei, in attesa di tornare alla luce quando meno lo si aspetta Letto ormai parecchi anni fa me lo ricordo comunque come una lettura piacevolissima l avventura di due uomini tramutatisi in gnomi che studiano da vicino le abitudini, i costumi e gli strumenti di questo curioso popolo, compilando una sorta di vademecum Il finale forse un po troppo moraleggiante, ma ci si pu passare sopra Molto belle le immagini, un libro consigliato da leggere magari sotto Natale, periodo in cui si svolge la vicenda. Always wanted to read this book, but growing up it was to expensive Until I found it in the thriftstore Loved the story, learned a lot Great drawings and I hope I find another book of Rien poortvliet soon. Again I loved the drawings in this book The text too, but to me that was not the most important At the time that I read it, this book openened new worlds to me, not only the gnome world, but also worlds as in other countries.I was very scared by the very realistic drawings of the trolls, but the interesting things how gnomes live, what they do, how they dress, differences between gnomes in different parts of the world made that less And, after reading it many times, I already knew when the t Again I loved the drawings in this book The text too, but to me that was not the most important At the time that I read it, this book openened new worlds to me, not only the gnome world, but also worlds as in other countries.I was very scared by the very realistic drawings of the trolls, but the interesting things how gnomes live, what they do, how they dress, differences between gnomes in different parts of the world made that less And, after reading it many times, I already knew when the trolls would be next, so I could skip the pages This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here This book is really cool in many ways The illustrations are the best thing about it, although some of them are really creepy It reads like a nature journal diary of events and is about two human men who are able to enter the world of the gnomes and some magic allows them to become gnomes themselves for a period of time so they can observe gnomes in their natural habitat and bring information back to humanity This is the second book, and I never read the first I don t think you need to, but This book is really cool in many ways The illustrations are the best thing about it, although some of them are really creepy It reads like a nature journal diary of events and is about two human men who are able to enter the world of the gnomes and some magic allows them to become gnomes themselves for a period of time so they can observe gnomes in their natural habitat and bring information back to humanity This is the second book, and I never read the first I don t think you need to, but I probably will It makes you feel like its perfectly reasonable to believe gnomes are nearby living their lives because its all explained so scientifically Questions about how they could possibly survive are answered so well I was disappointed that it was all dude gnomes and the lady gnomes were mentioned in passing as housewives and nurses I don t mind that that was their designated role, but they had no personality development in the story They were giggly and sexual objects and that was it I just think it shows lack of imagination In a magical world like this, we don t get to know any of the personalities of the women gnomes I just think that part was boring Otherwise its a fun book to read and its set in the Arctic which I am always fond of Plus foxes I want a book about lady gnomes A wonderful book for anyone interested in Gnomes and how they work The book is worth reading for the art alone The pictures are absolutely beautiful The reason I only gave it 4 stars and not 5 is that some of the art shows nudity which makes it questionable for little kids though the story would be loved by them otherwise. Ofschoon het boek voor kinderen lijkt te zijn bedoeld komt ook bij volwassen de boodschap over die kabouters voor de mensheid hebben Dat is feitelijk de opdracht die de beide samenstellers van het boek van de kabouters meekrijgen, de serieus bedoelde Oproep dus vanuit de kabouterwereld Stop milieuvervuiling en natuurvernietiging en ga leven op een duurzame manier De menselijk levenswijze waarbij veel grondstoffen en energie wordt verspild moet zo snel mogelijk werden ingeruild voor een milieu Ofschoon het boek voor kinderen lijkt te zijn bedoeld komt ook bij volwassen de boodschap over die kabouters voor de mensheid hebben Dat is feitelijk de opdracht die de beide samenstellers van het boek van de kabouters meekrijgen, de serieus bedoelde Oproep dus vanuit de kabouterwereld Stop milieuvervuiling en natuurvernietiging en ga leven op een duurzame manier De menselijk levenswijze waarbij veel grondstoffen en energie wordt verspild moet zo snel mogelijk werden ingeruild voor een milieubewuste wereldsamenleving De toekomst van leven op aarde staat op het spel *DOWNLOAD EBOOK ⇖ De Oproep Der Kabouters ⇔ Midden in de winter van werden Rien Poortvliet en Will Huygen door de kabouters naar het verre Lapland ontboden Tijdens hun verblijf aldaar bleek, dat ook de Siberische kabouters hen nog wilden ontmoeten, waardoor Rien en Will moesten doorreizen naar Centraal Siberi Een onvergetelijke tocht van meer dan drieduizend kilometer, vol schitterende ontdekkingen, interessante ontmoetingen, grappige voorvallen en spannende avonturen This was a fun book Anyone who appreciates being cozy and loves going on little adventures will love this one And of course any gnome lover will be thrilled at all the gnome info gathered on its pages. This book was terrible and definitely not meant for children It can t hold a candle to Gnomes and hasn t got the charm of Gnomes either In the book both authors go on a journey all over the place, meeting a few different people and different animals There s illustrations of gnomes from other countries They even stay with a family and the men offer to let the men sleep with their wives Here s a photo of Wil in bed with one of them There are many topless female gnomes, including one where yo This book was terrible and definitely not meant for children It can t hold a candle to Gnomes and hasn t got the charm of Gnomes either In the book both authors go on a journey all over the place, meeting a few different people and different animals There s illustrations of gnomes from other countries They even stay with a family and the men offer to let the men sleep with their wives Here s a photo of Wil in bed with one of them There are many topless female gnomes, including one where you can see a bit of pubic hair WTF See my review for the prequel to this, Gnomes, here